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True_Beauty_31
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Country: United States
State: Pennsylvania
Metro: Philadelphia
Birthday: 3/3/1982
Gender: Female
Interests: Family, friends, learning and loving God, sharing, climbing, leadership
Expertise: climbing, listening and traveling (I know how to get to and from places cheaply) and useless information
Occupation: Education/training
Industry: Education/Research
Message: message me
Member Since:
2/2/2006
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| I have never been one to claim to have discernment. As a matter of fact, I can be too trustworthy, at least the first time that I meet new people. I don't trust "feelings" too much and let them dictate what I should and shouldn't do. I really need to do that more, since I would probably have had less problems in life. I know that it was the Spirit leading me, and in my arrogance, I ignored God's prompting. There has been once in my life when it was so much more than that though. I felt evil all around me and knew something was going to happen. I was correct. In just a couple weeks after that, Satan attacked me from every angle. I couldn't shake him, but Christ is so much stronger. God protected me and I grew.
This morning, I woke up feeling suffocated. I felt darkness all around me and was shaking because of it. I spent the first half hour that I was awake today pleading God for protection. I have no idea what's going on, but something is going to happen. All that I can ask is that God helps me stand strong and that no matter what tomorrow holds, I will never stray from his side. God is the only one that can keep me safe. I'm a little afraid of what it means for my friends and family or where I'll be at the end of it. But Satan is moving. The good thing is every little aspect of life is in God's hands. He knows what is going to happen and how it's all going to come about. I just pray that I come through this stronger, weaker, more humble, loving and Christlike than I am now.
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| I'm still having trouble accepting the death of someone I knew at church. It's not just the death, I have learned how to cope with that, its the manner of her death. She was murdered in her apartment. I didn't know Gini super well, but I did know her. I was on a retreat the weekend before her death. I was also in a Bible Study with her every other Friday night since I joined in April. I would often be around her and think, wow, there was no pretense around her. She was one of those people who would ask you about your life because she truly cared. Many people in Frontline knew her. If she saw someone that looked out of place, she would talk to them to help them feel more comfortable. That's what her life was about. She wanted people to know God and find community within His church. What type of legacy is that? An awesome one! The viewing is tomorrow night, with the Memorial on Thursday. Todd Phillips, the Teaching Pastor for Frontline, did a sermon on Grief and talking about Gini. It was not a sermon on Gini, but based on how that works. It was a wonderful sermon. If you want to listen to it go to www.frontlinedc.com.
While that was happening, I was visiting my brother and sister-in-law meeting my nephew for the first time. He was adorable. He's an awesome little fellow. I loved holding him in my arms. At one point, I was holding my nephew and talking to my Steven and Kim about Gini's death. How could I be talking about the death of one person, while holding a new life?
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| Galatians 1:10- "Am I trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ."
I read this verse a couple weeks ago, and I haven't been able to shake it. Especially the second part. I spend so much of my time "doing works," things that I love, that I often lose focus on who I am trying to please. I keep trying to do it all on my own, but I can't, and neither does God want that of me. He wants me to giver Him my all and for me to let Him control the course of my life. I am a dreamer, but many times my dreaming does not match up to God's plans. Why? Because I put to much effort and focus on pleasing men, and not nearly enough on pleasing God. I strive to be a servant of Christ. Being a servant is not too difficult for me. I guess many people say that it is one of my Spiritual Gifts, and if you would ask me, I would tell you the same thing. I enjoy and I do i t often, but I don't always look at the heart issue. Who am I really serving? Am I serving God by serving those around me or am I just serving those around me? Very small key word, very big distinction.
I have been getting frustrated with my leadership at Young Life. Not because of my area director, he is doing a fantastic job in a very difficult area. Not because of my Campaigners, though, sometimes they lend themselves to it, but because of me. I always think that there is more that I can be doing: That I should be talking to more kids, that I need to make the next game, that I need to rearrange my schedule to work with the high schoolers. Somewhere along the line, I rejoiced that God brought me through a difficult and angry time with Young Life, but I stopped praying, begging, pleading on behalf of the kids that I do know at Annandale High School. This is a realization that I came to last weekend and one that has been working to change my life like never before. It's amazing. I have fallen on my knees (sometimes literally) on behalf of the high school. I have begged God at every chance that I get to help me be a leader to these kids. I have found Him responding that He has already gone ahead of me and I have seen results that just make me shake my head. And no, its not what you are thinking. We did not get tons of kids to come out to a dinner that we were doing that was their idea, as a matter of fact, the Campaigners pretty much forgot about it. What I saw and what I learned was God's faithfulness. He reminded me that He was working and that He was in control. All of this because I couldn't get part of one verse out of my head.
Galations 2:21- "I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!"
This was in today's reading. I think, as a church, we tend to put all of our stock on God's grace, and not so much on his righteousness or His role as a judge. And I was thinking why? Why do we do that? If we can't identify God's other characteristics, His grace won't mean as much. I think its because we want to dwell on Christ's grace and love and those characteristics. Those are the easy ones.
As for this verse, Paul is rebuking Peter, not too long after Peter and the other disciples "accepted" Paul as one of their own. He sees a hypocrisy in Peter's life that has led many others astray, including Barnabas. He is reminding Peter that to seek justification for his behavior will only show how much he cannot be justified. Only God's grace can do that. This verse comes right after a very well know verse: "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself up for me."
Grace has never seemed to amazing and important to me than it has today. There was no hope of living a righteous life by living according to the law. As a matter of fact, the law was great at pointing out all the errors that a person can make in a single day, let's not even think of a lifetime. But if it could, then the entire course of history would have changed. Christ would NOT have given up his place in heaven to grow as a simple human child. He would NOT have gathered the apostles around Him and taught them much while he was here. And, most importantly, He would have no need to go to the cross that day. He would not have died and not have risen again, because, well, there would have been no need.
But, I for one, am glad that there was a need. It was because of Christ's death, that God's message was finally spread throughout the Gentile world. So much so, that over 2,000 years later, that message is still going strong in the Gentile world. It's all because of Grace that God did NOT make a way to be saved through the law, but satisfied the law with something much, much more substantial and much longer lasting.
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| This is a song that was sung at one of the two churches that I attended yesterday (which is a normal thing for me). The song just struck me and made me think. I often forget why we celebrate and honor Memorial Day. Who are we getting the day off in order to remember? I also realized that not one mentioned was made to my students about why they have off today. Do they understand? Do they even think about it? Some do definitely. I have to many military kids for them not to at least have an idea. But what about the civilian kids? It took me many years to understand why this day is important to remember, and I was taught many times about the history of the day. Are students even taught to honor the military anymore and the sacrifices that they make on our behalf? Or are they only taught that war is bad and the military is only looking to fight. Just fight, not fighting for anything. I know many teachers don't intentionally show this, but they do anyway. I completely disagree btw. Anyway, back to the song.
Arlington
By Trace Adkinson
I never thought that this is where I'd settle down
I thought I'd die an old man back in my hometown
They gave me this plot of land
Me and some other men
For a job well done
There's a big white house, sits on a hill, just up the road
The man inside, he cried the day they brought me home
They folded up a flag
And told my mom and dad
"We're proud of your son"
And I'm proud to be on this peaceful piece of property
I'm on sacred ground, and I'm in the best of company
I'm thankful for those thankful for the things I've done
I can rest in peace, I'm one of the chosen ones
I made it to Arlington
I remember Daddy brought me here when I was eight
We searched all day to find out where my granddad lay
When we finally found that cross
He said "Son, this is what it costs
To keep us free"
Now here I am, a thousand stones away from him
He recognized me on the first day I came in
And it gave me a chill
When he clicked his heels
And saluted me
And I'm proud to be on this peaceful piece of property
I'm on sacred ground, and I'm in the best of company
I'm thankful for those thankful for the things I've done
I can rest in peace, I'm one of the chosen ones
I made it to Arlington
And every time I hear twenty-one guns
I know they brought another hero home to us
We're thankful for those thankful for the things we've done
We can rest in peace, 'cause we are the chosen ones
We made it to Arlington
Yeah, dust to dust
Don't cry for us
We made it to Arlington
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| At leadership the other night, we brought some of our campaigners with us to see if we can get them to catch a vision for the ministry in their school. That really is vital the ministry, at least from my perspective. Anyway, we were asked about why Young Life? Why do we spend our time with it? And why do we always seem to go back to it? I thought about that question a lot. Because for me, it is especially true. When I moved to DC, most people were expecting me to get involved, but I'm not sure anyone really understood why, and why I was so hesitant. I'm not sure if I completely understand, but I'm going to try to explain it. My parents taught me very early on that faith in God is the only thing that mattered. Everything else was just a small detail. They taught me how to love God, love others and accept responsibility (not that I always did those things, but they still taught me.) Life, however, taught me that the world is cruel and uncaring. Circumstances made me feel that God did not really care about us. I never stopped believing in God, I could never deny His exsistance, but I did manage to believe that He just didn't care. Hopeless was the only word that I truly understood. God finally got through to me at the very end of my 8th grade year. That summer, I started attending Campaigners with my brothers. Now at this point in the story, most people expect me to say that I have found a place to fit in, not the case. I got along with the other people in YL, but I never really connected, at least not with the girls. There was a huge clique among the girls, and I was always on the outside. Before to long, I stopped looking in and starting looking around. Young Life gave me a place to connect with those that I did not know in my class. I was forced to look outside of my typical small circle of friends, and create new ones. That helped me heal so much from middle school. I never got completely close with my leaders, but I learned that I can be a leader when needed. Thanks to my parents pushing and my brother's insistence and even Eric's annoyance, I did Work Crew. One month at Frontier Ranch cleaning toliets for free. Not usually anyone's idea of enjoyment, but I had the best time of my life. That month was a stretch for me. I was tired. Overworked. Out of energy. Sick. And having an amazing time. I can't believe what God was teaching me and how much I was willing to learn. It was a great way to learn how to live with people right before college. Throughout college, I have met so many people that have expanded my horizons with Christ. I was challenged. I was hurt. And ultimately, I grew. Those that I met through YL camps may not be my lifelong friends, but they will be people that I will remember for the rest of my life. When I moved down here, I was angry with YL. And the last thing that I wanted was to get involved. I fought it, to an extent. But I still loved High Schoolers. I still loved hanging out with them and talking to them and listening to their opionions. I reentered YL for a couple of reasons. The two main reason are because I wanted to work with high schoolers again and because I wanted fellowship with other leaders. The second one would be kind of odd if you didn't realize that all the leaders here are my age and working full-time jobs and outside of the area director, all single. This is reason why I have finally felt at home here. Frontline is huge and intimidating, though I enjoy the sermon immensely (I'm probably one of the few people who will tell you that they enjoy the sermon more than the worship.) I have found friends. I have found a place to serve and I am looking for a smaller home church, but that will come. Delaware County is still home, but this is where God has me for right now. | | |
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